I’ve Fallen Quite Hard Over You

We’ve been packing in silence for at least an hour. Zach wanders outside to load one of our tiny dressers in his car. While he’s gone, I’ve moved over to our nightstand. My hands gingerly pick up each photo. I see a smiling couple, in a blush wedding dress and a pink checkered shirt. He’s holding me close to him. I’m smiling widely in his arms, so completely absorbed in the moment. I caress the next photo, me on his lap, both of us beaming into the camera. The next, he tenderly cups my face in his hands.

I hear the door open, and I hurriedly move the pictures back to their resting place, trying to my best to brush the privacy of the moment away.

We are moving, leaving our first home together. Two years of our life, packed away into boxes. The room has been cold, the space wide open with the words I don’t know how to say.

So instead, I mechanically pack away our wedding memories. The photos, the shoes, the beautiful butterfly box my best friend gave to me. I gently tuck those into a cardboard box, feeling the silence grow heavier and heavier.

He wants to talk about it, I can tell. I just can’t bring myself to acknowledge leaving our home. I can’t say the words that would confirm we are leaving. It would make it too raw, too real.

I look at his sagging shoulders from across the room, I can see the weight I have placed there. For hours, he’s been trying to get me to pause, even for just a moment. He’s been trying to get past my stoic veneer. So I’ve sent him on errand after errand. I’ve snapped when he’s tried to slow me down.

I watch him as he folds the stray clothes on the floor.

I’m transported to an old memory, back to a time when our old room was full of life. Our bed is neatly made, the floor cluttered with loose clothing and shoes. I’m sitting cross-legged on the quilt, my back facing him as I fold laundry. I hear him typing on my laptop, and then the soft guitar of a song begins. I smile because it’s one of my favorites.

“I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you.

He picks me up in his arms, our laundry waiting patiently as he twirls me around the room.

Yes, there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you.

The music wraps the room in warmth, and I toss my head back to laugh.

I’ve seen the path that your eyes wander down

I want to come too.”

I  blink, and I’m back in our empty tile room. Our comforter is folded up on the floor, surrounded by a scattering of boxes. I can’t help it, but the tears well up now. They sting my eyes and reveal the vulnerability I’ve been trying to hide.

I grab my laptop and quietly pull up the song. I press play, and the guitar begins to softly build. Zach looks up at me. I smile at him, tears spilling over.

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you. 

Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you. 

He’s across the room in a few short steps, wrapping me up in his arms.

I’ve seen the waters that make your eyes shine,

I feel myself surrendering as we sway to the music. I finally allow the tears to spill over, and I whisper, “I don’t want to leave.” I feel him nod, and he grips me tighter.

Now I’m shining too.

Oh because, oh because

I’ve fallen quite hard over you…”

We're Adorable

Song: Landon Pigg- Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop

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12 responses to “I’ve Fallen Quite Hard Over You

  1. Beautiful love story Nicky & Zach! ❤ It is beautiful to see your love unfold for one another. Please do not let anyone every take that away from you both. Love is very precious and a delicate flower! 🙂

  2. This is breath-taking! Such a sweet love you two have, so evident to people around you and so full of Jesus. Our marriages are to reflect Christ’s love for us, should be an example of that selfless love – yours truly does. Love you both!

    • That’s so sweet of you, Shanna. God truly is the center of everything, otherwise Zach and I probably wouldn’t have made it this far. I’m so thankful for the love he continually pours out in my life, and in the lives around me.

  3. You are a writer. Within seconds I was in tears reading your post. I look forward to reading more from you in the days to come.

  4. I got the goosies, Nicky! This is the line that got me: “The room has been cold, the space wide open with the words I don’t know how to say.” I love these stories about you and Zach. He is so patient, so tender, he reads the moment so well and knows how and when to engage. And that photo! Gorgeous! AND YOU’RE SLICING! Woo! I’ve got a “cheat sheet” of easy mentor texts for when I’m stuck this month. Will whip it into a readable form and send it to you in case you get stuck too!

    • Thanks, Dr. E! 🙂 Zach is pretty great. He makes me question how I’ve gotten along in life without his magical ability to assess any emotional situation. I would love to be a part of this cheat sheet. I’m imagining that I’m going to be stuck soon. I’ve got plenty of opportunities this month to have writer’s block.

  5. The first time I heard that song I knew it would be perfect for a first dance at my wedding. Not that I have found my prince charming, but I know he’s waiting for me somewhere. This was a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing a slice of your life.

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