Zach and I are in week 3 of our internship with FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes for those who don’t know). So far it has been an absolutely incredible experience.
We started off the summer by sending out support letters and following up with those people, which believe me, can be incredibly nerve-racking. I’ve never been comfortable when it comes to the topic of money. Thankfully, through this entire experience, God has been changing my perspective on what it truly means to reach out to others and ask.
For our internship, Zach and I need to raise $7,000 collectively. Initially, funds were coming in slowly. We had to pay our security deposit for our new apartment. That took a dent, but we gritted our teeth. After getting our tires rotated, the mechanic told us that every single tire needed replaced. Ouch.
New tires could be up to $600, and we desperately needed them to travel. Travel is a huge part of our internship. So with all but $100 gone from our savings, panic settled in. We don’t get paid if we don’t raise.
I wish I could say that I unflinchingly believed God would come through. I wish I could change the doubtful sin nature of my heart, but I can’t. Instead of trusting in God’s ability to provide, I began planning. If I send out these many letters, if I contact these people, if I can just be more on the ball, if I make these connections. And if all of this fails, I can find another job. I tried to create my own security net. I’m sure God was looking down on me, tenderly shaking his head at all of my foolishness.
“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘Why did you doubt?'” -Matthew 14:31
I was a lot like Peter. Peter knew it was Jesus walking on the water, so he asks him to allow him to venture out. I knew God had called me to this internship. I knew it was Jesus standing on the water, and I dared to walk out above the waves. But like Peter, when the wind picked up and the chaos grew, the fear in my heart overtook me. I began to sink into the water, doubting God’s ability to keep me safe. God is gracious, and in the middle of my doubts, He reached his hand down and stopped the water from slowly overtaking me.
When it seemed impossible, God provided. Even though I never doubted God’s call to the internship, I doubted his ability to supply. Pretty backwards thinking I know. He called me to it, so how could he not equip me?
So Zach and I began our internship with $100 left to our name and three weeks to stretch it out. In just 3 weeks, God has miraculously provided the funds. We have a little over $700 to raise left.
God is faithful always. Rejoice in that today.